#67: How to Rewire Your Brain to Become Your Best SELF with Roxy Saffaie
Welcome to The Creator's Adventure where we interview creators from around the world, hearing their stories about growing a business.
Roxy Saffaie is the founder of Black Belt Beauty, and her mission is to empower women around the world to authentically express their fullest potential in all areas of life that matter most.
Roxy is a writer, speaker + coach in the arena of Self-Mastery + Personal Empowerment.
As a contemporary existentialist, a life athlete + relentless GOAL digger, she LOVES to help people win their highest ideals in life.
Learn more about Roxy: https://www.blackbeltbeauty.com/
Bryan McAnulty: Welcome to The Creator's Adventure, where we interview Creator's from around the world, hearing their stories about growing a business. Today's guest is going to teach us about the mindset for success. Hey everyone. I'm Bryan McAnulty, the founder of Heights Platform. Let's get into it.
Hey everyone. We're here today with Roxy Saffaie. She is a writer, speaker, and coach. In the arena of self-mastery and personal empowerment, she is the founder of Black Belt Beauty, and her mission is to empower women around the world to authentically express their fullest potential in all areas of life that matter most.
Roxy, welcome to the show.
Roxy Saffaie: Thank you, Brian. Happy to be here.
Bryan McAnulty: So my first question for you is, what would you say is the biggest thing that either you did or you are doing? That's helped you to achieve the freedom to do what you enjoy.
Roxy Saffaie: Easy answer, not easy to always do, but it's to stay true to my authentic self.
And that has been a solid through line throughout my entire life. I can elaborate. I'm sure I will in this conversation, but that is, that is the answer.
Bryan McAnulty: Awesome. Yeah, I think, I think a lot of people, like every, everybody answers this question differently, but I think a lot of people like behind whatever they said, there's, there's a meaning or, or some, somehow in our talk we get into how that is important and mm-hmm.
I think the way that you presented it, it made me think about that like, well, for myself, I can think of the times when I didn't feel like I was doing that and I didn't have a good experience. And so, yeah, I, I would definitely agree. That's important. Mm-hmm. Next question is, what inspired you to create, black Belt Beauty?
And can you kind of share the story of how you became a coach?
Roxy Saffaie: Sure. So I'll answer part one first. So, when, when Black Belt Beauty came to me, I was says, this is my second career life. There was a large part of my career life where I was a celebrity makeup artist, so beauty expert, and about halfway through that career.
So I'm still, I'm ascending, super lit up, still big goals in that career. I just started to really get this feeling internally that. There was just more for me. So it, I, I point this out cuz it wasn't coming from a feeling of dissatisfaction or I wasn't content in my career. It was just this inner feeling of like, we, we've got more to do.
And I was like, cool. And I just never pressured myself on what is that? And you know, I just kind of sat with it internally. And I've always been a very curious, curious woman. I, I'm a geek. I mean, I, from philosophy to neuroscience, to biology, to physiology. I'm a poet. I'm, you know, I mean, it's just nutrition.
Like I'm always. Fascinated to learn. I'm interested in a lot of areas, and this has also been a through line throughout my entire life. So I've been able to really learn a lot, you know, extract a lot of, of, of knowledge and information and so, you know, and then put things into application and get real life experience, right?
And then so all of that combined put me in this position where I became a real source to. Not just friends and family, but you know, peers and colleagues and, you know, in, in many different areas. So, you know, whether it's psychology and helping somebody get through something hard mindset wise, or whether it's, you know, information that would support someone with their athleticism, with their nutrition, with their hormones.
I mean, you name it, it's like there was just always information that I was able to provide that would be supportive to individuals to. Expand their viewpoint, their perspective, help them get into a higher state of themselves, right? Mm-hmm. So put that to the side. I start listening to podcasts, so. I think it was like 2014 or something.
And I really just love the medium. I love communicating. It's definitely a gift of mine, written and verbal. And I just loved how with podcasts you really feel like you're sitting in a, in the room, you know, listening in on a, a really powerful conversation and you get, just get to learn so much. So I start putting all these kind of pieces together where I was like, okay, well maybe I start a podcast, but before I did that, I, you know, and take all this information that.
I know I love to, you know, learn and to attain, but also I just keep getting feedback of how valuable you know it is when I am able to support others with whatever it is that I'm able to support them in all those areas that I shared with you. So that initiated this idea to start a blog. The blog, the name.
So the brand, this is where the name Blackwell bd, came about. And and I'll give you the backstory to the name because it's, I'm a martial artist, but I am not a black belt in Juujitsu. So I just need to clarify that, that it's more poetry if I anything behind the name. But I start with the blog and it's meant to, you know, just be, you know, it's lifestyle, high performance living, right?
Holistic self-development. And then the blog thing. I, you know, I love playing outside. I love not sitting in front of my computer for 10 hours a day. It just naturally started. I naturally started to move away from all the, you know, the blogging aspect of it, and then moved into. Okay, well, you know, basically I'm going to start a podcast.
It took me a year to really get everything together in my mind of how I wanted to go about it. Long range short, like, you know, and really just also get the confidence to put my voice out there, you know, in this public speaking format. So, So blog, black Belt BD turned into Black Belt BD Radio podcast and you know, it took about a year.
But yeah, that's, that's the backstory of how it came to be. And the backstory to the name is to be a black belt. Is it? The black belt is the highest expression, right? So it's the highest expression in any martial art. And for me, in my opinion, my mind and my kind of perspective on life is, well, we are living from the highest.
Expression of ourselves. We are truly living a beautiful life. So the goal is like, how do you live from this height expression so that you can create this beautiful life, and that is black belt beauty.
Bryan McAnulty: Got it. Okay. I, yeah, that's, that's really interesting. I think there were some really nice points that you made in explaining all of that, and I want to go back to a couple of them.
The first was like, you explained how you always were interested in like learning these different things, right? So, Yeah, and I can relate to that myself, that like, I feel like as a kid, I was actually thinking about this literally yesterday, how, like, as a kid I would just always wanna learn about everything.
I always wanted to understand how all these different things worked or, or how something was. And I feel like Ive really like, carried that through in business and, and everything like this is a, a big part of, of me and who I am still. And I think I've used it as like an advantage in, in my business and in what I do, and it sounds like you have as well in what you can provide to your clients.
And I was thinking about this yesterday, that if, if somebody else, like it doesn't, whoever's listening or watching this, like it doesn't have to be that they had that, that same feeling that like they always wanted to learn everything. So whatever you were doing, like as a kid might be different. But I think it's interesting to think about.
Like when you were like very young, what was something that like you had a high degree of interest in or like you realize about yourself even like looking back and how can you apply that to what you're doing now if you're not, because maybe you're missing out on some kind of advantage or, or something that just makes you enjoy everything that you do a little bit more.
So I, I think it was interesting that you mentioned that.
Roxy Saffaie: Yeah. I love that. No, it's, I think it's important to pull on those threads and to spend that time with yourself to do this introspective work, because the thing is, is like what you just said, just to kind of tease it out a little bit. Mm-hmm. You know, these are very, very pure, interests, you know, that we, we experience when we are, we're children, right?
And for lots of different reasons, the purity, we can start to. You know, we go through our lives and then we, there could, one might think it's not possible to create some kind of career life. From these interests for a lot of reasons, because societal, like, you know what, what we've come to know of what could be successful, what isn't.
But you know, it's interesting, like even in the, me being a BD expert and a, a celebrity makeup artist, my mom is the first one to tell. Everybody is so cute. But I, I, I grew, I was a, an artist from a very young age and she would always have to follow me. Around the walls. Cause I was always painting on the walls, you know, and that was just one, that was just one form of me, like one aspect of me expressing that I loved to create with my hands.
I love color. It then moved on to my girlfriends and school. But then even in the, the learning and the communicating part of, you know, this kind of inherent, I say it's a gift, it's a talent, but also, you know, an interest. I mean in, in funny story, just to share that I think your community may laugh at, but cuz I certainly do to this day.
But I mean, it was seventh grade where I, you know, I would talk in class and my teacher, you know, and, and the kids would pay attention. Like I just was able to captivate with speaking, right. And it didn't, it didn't sit right with my teacher, this particular teacher, such that, you know, one day I got in trouble and he had my mom come sit in class.
Well, we all took a test, you know, to kind of punish me to, you know, like embarrass me, right? Mm-hmm. And I just think it's funny because then all these years later, my career is I'm a speaker, you know? And, and so it's just kind of, I like to point those things out because I think it's really, this goes back to the authenticity piece, right?
That's a very, you know, communicating and expressing the art and, and with you, the learning. I mean, this is all. Authentic, like your heart saying, Hey, I like this, I'm interested in this. I'm curious about this. So I think that when we give ourselves permission to pull on the thread more and to just invest more in it, regardless of whether it becomes your end all thing or not, you, it, it takes you on a journey that I feel that we are designed independent, indi, individually to go on.
Bryan McAnulty: Yeah, definitely. And that, that ties together well with the second part I was gonna say is how you mentioned like that you like being outside. So like the blogging thing, like sitting at your computer all day wasn't necessarily what you felt was like the calling and you, you realized you liked podcasts and all that.
And I wanted to bring that up because I. I think it's important for like other people to realize, I feel like so many Creator's and entrepreneurs struggle with seeing like, oh, somebody's doing this thing on a blog or on on Twitter, on YouTube, whatever it is, and they feel like that's hard for me to do.
That doesn't feel like the thing I want to do. I don't, I don't understand that. And it just feels like this, this effort that like even if you think deep down, there's just no way that you wanna do that. Right. Yeah. And so I would say to them to like think about like, well, where is like, where are the people like that have the similar feeling to you?
Like what, what's the thing that that they enjoy, that you enjoy? And like, how can you work on that? So like for yourself it was really like connecting with podcasting and like the podcast community and everything about that. Exactly. And I think that's something that is really important for, for people to think about as well instead of, Just kind of feeling like a, I don't know, a little bit of like the grass is always greener effect when they hear somebody tell them like, oh, you should be on X platform or, or doing whatever.
Roxy Saffaie: Yeah, no, I love that. I think it's so important. Again, it's, you know, everyone's gonna have an opinion. Everyone's gonna say, this is the way, this is the best way. But, you know, no voice should be louder than the voice inside. And also, I think it's important to apply, you know, I mean, listen, I'm a digital creator, so I am in front of my computer.
But what I was able to do, you know, podcasting puts me in the position. I have a team, I have a, you know, we. Production. So the, the big piece there was not just to not be in front of the computer, actually, it was just to engage more with a team and to have more like of a social connection, which was really important.
But also I think for me, no matter what I've, you know, heard about, do, this is great. That's great. Do this, do that. What has always served me is I can hear people, I could, especially people that I respect and admire. But at the end of the day, I gotta try. I have to feel, I have to, I have to put the actual work in for me to be able to kind of metabolize what the, what it is that really works for me.
Right. So I think, you know, for any creator out there, it's less about what seems to be great or best that others are doing and more about. You know, you actually putting in the real life application work for you to experience what is really going to work best for you. Because you can almost say, Brian, like, is there a wrong way?
I mean, I think the only wrong way would be to not be genuine to you. Like what? Saying earlier you're like, I've tried it a few times, it didn't work out for me.
Bryan McAnulty: Yeah, yeah. I, I would say like another way to think about it is like, it comes down to like, what do you really want? And so, If, if you can be a little bit introspective and think about that for yourself and if it, if it is to like grow super big, become super popular, like if that is really the thing, then like, do you want that enough that you want to work on these platforms that don't necessarily feel.
I don't know, like your, the thing that you enjoy the most. So like in that case, like it's still, it all fits right? Because if you, what you really, really want is like above all of that to be super popular or whatever, then mm-hmm. You won't mind working and like trying to grow on these platforms that don't feel natural.
But if you say like, well, I don't care really about that. I just want to do what I enjoy or whatever, then. Don't worry about the popularity. Right? And so, no, you just have to think to yourself like, well, what do you really want? As long as you're true to that vision, then like the rest doesn't really matter.
Roxy Saffaie: Yeah. Oh, and I, I think just this is, I think universally, anybody who's really operating from. What truly lights them up is going to have a higher frequency. They're, you're going to be em. Everything in life is energy. So I speak about energy a lot because it, it's just, it's the reality. It's the currency of life.
So if, if you, when you are operating from your most authentic self and you're, and in that you're operating from what truly lights you up, you're just putting out a different, a higher frequency. So, you know, I'll, I'll tell you this. I have had to work. Past like some mindset challenges. So I'm intrinsically motivated, period.
In like a very robust way in my life, right? Everything that I'm creating and that I'm driving myself towards, it's all intrinsic motivation. I've never been someone to, I'm not driven to be seen. I'm not extrover. I'm actually very introverted. Such to that I had to. Work on this kind of story in my mind of how much I don't care or prefer to even be necessarily seen in some kind of grandiose way.
Right? Because what happened is, is that, you know, I had to accept that if I'm going to my, what, my mission and you know, the visions that I have, Are going to put me in the position where I'm going to be seen on a massive scale. So I'm not driving myself to that. That's not the goal for me, that's the byproduct, the side effect of me reaching for my actual goals, which is the impact and sharing the mission, the message, and you know, all of that.
So I've had to actually shift my mindset to say, okay, girl, well I get it. You're more introverted. You love being private. You're not driven. You're to be seen like that. But we gotta get out of the way with this script because. If you don't get past this, then you're not actually going to allow yourself to get on the TED stage or to go do the massive book tour, et cetera, et cetera.
Right. So just sharing a little extra there on that that you know, to, I can bring it right back to where we were, but I think. At the end of the day, even if you're someone who's not trying to reach for stardom or being seen on a massive scale, when you are operating from your authentic self and you're truly staying in your heart and creating from that space, you're likely gonna land there.
I mean, depending on what you're doing, but like there's a good chance that. You'll actually land there anyway, so it's like the reverse for someone like me. Like you have to kind of prepare yourself for that because it comes with, you know, the bigger, the bigger picture of what you're doing.
Bryan McAnulty: Yeah, I, I can completely relate to that.
And. Going through that same process, like that's something I had to do as well because I also see myself as more introverted. I have no desire to say, Hey, everybody, look at me on this video. And I had to realize to myself, well, if I want to really make the impact that I wanna make, then it's, that's gonna be a byproduct of it, just as you said.
Yeah. And so I had to realize the reason I'm doing it is for the impact and that's, that's the end goal of what I'm going after. And I think. I've heard other, like coaches say that a way to think about money is that like money is a byproduct of the value you create in the world. Yes. Rather than being something that like you should chase after directly, you focus on mm-hmm.
Providing value to the world, then like money is what you can get in return. And I think that's a, a good way to, to look at that even as well.
Roxy Saffaie: I agree with you. I think, you know, it's that specific idea. I think first of all, it's definitely how I drive my business, how I've driven my whole life. I think, you know, it's maybe a little bit more complex because obviously money matters, right?
Like we need, we need to be well-resourced, especially when we have big visions. The better resource we are, the more that we can. Express that, you know, big vision and, and make it happen, right? So I think it's never about chasing the money. I mean, it's certainly, I didn't start the podcast to chase the money.
I didn't, I mean, again, I was like in a, I was in, I was in a career that I was climbing. I left that career at the very top. You know, I. I, I mean, I left where the money was higher than where I was taking myself, you know, at the, in, in the beginning, right? But I do feel that that respect for money as energy, as a resource to expand your vision is important to keep in the kind of periphery, if that makes sense.
So, no, it's not the driver, because if it's the driver, then you're probably gonna be, inauthentic. Whether you realize it or not, you know, you're gonna be saying yes to some things that you don't really feel integrity with, but, oh wait, I should do it because it, you know. But when you are driving yourself again from this internal lit up place like mission, intrinsically motivated, keeping the idea around and the reverence for how money can resource you.
To take everything to the next level. I think that there's just more harmony in that, and I just wanted to share that because sometimes I feel like the conversation around that is so black and white. So then some people, some Creator's, and I know I'm, I mean, I've been an entrepreneur for almost all of my life, you know, and I, you know, so it can seem almost like, oh, don't think about money, or, oh, think about money.
It's like, well, no, actually, it, it kind of has to be a bit of both, you know? But it's more about. How you are assigning your energy and your perspective to both of these scenarios that we were speaking about here?
Bryan McAnulty: Yeah, definitely. I, and I completely agree with that as well. I think like it's best to view, view money as like the resource rather than the end goal.
Just as you said, because like, yes. Also, like a lot of, I've heard, probably a few popular people have said that like, Money. Like it really is a resource because the point is not to collect it because it has no value until you actually use it. They have to use the money for something. If your goal is to save something for an emergency fund or whatever, like that's the purpose of that money.
But like, mm-hmm. In the end, like the money has to have a purpose. And so like if you're trying to, to grow your impact and, and your vision and what you're doing, then like money is a resource to enable you to do that.
Roxy Saffaie: Absolutely. Yeah. And then it just creates a, I think, a healthier relationship with it. I mean, I know that for, in my own life, like the more income that just comes to me, it's like, it's the most exciting thing because I have so much to create and it just allows me to continue to take my creations to that next level and then that next level.
So it, it is exactly what you said. It's the money has a job I'm assigning. The job to the money, but the money's not ruling me in any way, shape or form.
Bryan McAnulty: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. All right, so next I wanna ask like it, with your clients or in your personal life, what do you think about like visualization or like manifests man manifestation techniques to achieve goals?
Like is that something that you practice, that you think works? And, and if so, like what are some examples?
Roxy Saffaie: So Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So every day, every single day I am in visualization. Through my meditation, I have a very, Just luscious morning ritual that I've had forever now, you know, and, I, I had mentioned briefly in the beginning, but neuroscience is, it's a big passion of mine.
I'm in a neuroscience academy. I, it's a constant study for me, and neuroscience validates. The efficacy behind visualization. So no, it's not just, and even manifesting, right? I mean, we are always manifesting because manifesting is essentially just whatever your dominant thoughts and beliefs and feelings are.
It's putting out a frequency that then is creating, shaping your reality. Right. So the whole, the relationship between visual visualization and manifestation, which yes, is obviously very active in my life and it is something that I speak about with, you know, the woman that I coach. It's, you know, you have a vision you want to manifest.
Well, putting yourself in. Constant meaning like consistently putting yourself in states where you can really bring yourself into a very sensorial experience of that vision. Your brain doesn't actually know the difference if you are really there or not. Let's use in, just to give a real life example, I have not an official date yet, but Ted talk coming up, right?
So. It's a big talk and I need to crush it. I want to crush it, right? So I constantly put myself in this visualization moment where I'm on the stage and I think about what am I wearing? What even before that, like how did I get up in the morning? What was my. How did I move through my morning to get onto that stage?
You know, what am I feeling? What does the air feel like? I mean, you literally have to invite all of your senses to get so deeply entranced into the vision that your brain doesn't know the difference. I mean, we know that, you know, this is so common with some of the world. Elite athletes. I mean, they're great examples of, you know, how visualization actually does work, you know?
So, and I think it's important to say that, you know, it is a science. Manifesting is a science. There's, and that, so if you actually go down the rabbit hole, Of manifestation and visualization. They really work together. And you see how far back the conversation, it's ancient, it's, you know, it's trickled down to, you know, our day and age and many different ways, tones, movies like The Secret, you know, that kind of commercialized the concept of it.
However, you know, you can think of like the book and this is, there's, you know, this is not even the furthest back, but have you ever read, think and Grow Rich? Have you read that book? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. It's all the science of the, it's science of the mind. Right. So, you know, to answer your question, I mean, I have manifested some.
What people would say is miraculous situations. And I've also, you know, I, I, I've, I have a manifesting game. There was a, this one time I'll sh this is a really funny story, but I wanted to play the game. Like, let me see how potent my manifesting powers are. So I decided, this is years ago, maybe like seven, eight years, no, eight years ago.
I was like, I wanna see a purple Porsche. And not just any purple Porsche. I want it to be like a grape purple, right? Like a nine 11 gr like, I'm just making this, you know. How many, how many grape purple Porsches do you see driving down the street? Not many, right? Not many. No. Okay. Yeah, so I can't remember the exact timing of when I initiated this idea that I was gonna manifest this and when it actually happened, but I'll just speed this up to get to the point.
I think it was about a month and I would see Brian, it's so funny, I'd see these Porsches that were like purple in the right light, and I wanted like, oh, I got it. I did it right. But then I was like, Girl stop. You know you want grape, like we're not cheating ourselves. Like don't, don't, don't act like it's not possible.
Keep holding the vision. I wanna see grape purple Porsche. So fast forward, I'm going to do a photo shoot one day and we're driving around the beach, my home in California. No photographer. I, I think I see a purple Porsche. I'm like, oh, is that a purple Porsche? I was like, oh no. He's like, why no? And he asked me like, why are you curious about a purple Porsche?
I'm like, oh, I'm just playing this game where I wanna manifest a, like a purple great Porsche. He pulls out his phone and he goes, look at this. And he showed me a grape purple GT Porsche. He goes, this house right here that we're parked in front of the owner, This is his Porsche. I'm like, okay. And I think it was a week.
I have a picture of this. I swear I can send it just to prove it. Put it in the show notes. It was like a week later that I'm driving down the street. This is beach Shit's in LA and behind the stoplight is the Purple GT Porsche. Great. Manifested done. Wow. Now that's just a fun game that I've played with myself, but I continue to manifest.
I mean, my podcast studio, like, there's just endless stories that I have personally that I can share. But to kind of bring this, you know, question to, full circle. So the answer would be I absolutely. Not only believe in if it works, I know it works. It's a science, it's proven. And when you look at the end of the day, if you don't believe in something, it won't work.
Period. That's anything. If you don't believe in yourself, you're not gonna work great. Right? So it really comes down to what we, what we truly, truly believe is possible.
Bryan McAnulty: Yeah, I think that's interesting. I think that. It. There's something to be said maybe about the idea that when you really believe in whatever it is, then of course like the best path forward is to take like conscious action towards it.
But yes, when you really a hundred percent believe in that thing, The chances are that like your brain, as you said, like is so programmed into like believing that this is how it is, that you will even take like subconscious action towards it of things that hundred percent that you'll be doing. And of like, things like, I would bet like maybe somehow like in the process, like you didn't intentionally do it, but somehow you, you said like, I'm, I'm gonna work with this person.
And, and your brain in there is saying like, yeah, this is the kind of person that would have that purple Porsche and,
Roxy Saffaie: You're right, and it's so, it's such a great point because the more that you study this is, it's so addicting. The more that you study the brain, the more you that you study, the science and manifesting.
You understand that the subconscious is actually ruling our life. Right. This is why it's so important to do, do work, to see where you know, where you programmed. We all hold programs, right? We're just like a computer and we get a bunch of programs put into us as we live, but there are programs that are not working in our favor.
And when they're in the subconscious, it's, they're, they're like, they're hidden. You might not even be realizing it, but the reason why you keep kind of sabotaging yourself, I'm making an example here, you as an anybody, is because there's some kind of subconscious program going on that's creating. That process, that se self-sabotaging process because there's a belief issue about what's on the other side.
Like if you were to not se self-sabotage and you were to see yourself through that when you want to, this is kind of a tip. What, so the best times to get into a state of visualization to go into visualization is ideally when you can. Be in the brain wave state of theta, which is the state, same state of as hypnosis.
Alpha is great too. It's a little bit tricky to be in theta state, but I'll just explain. So theta is when, so two times. It's when we go, when we go, from sleep to waking. I say that two times because morning and night, right? But you could take a nap. It's the same thing. So anytime you're going from sleep to waking, you're going from theta to alpha, right?
And then in the evening when you're right, before you're falling asleep, you're going from alpha to theta. That's why, you know, if you wanna have like a vision board, I have a big, beautiful vision board in my bedroom, and it's in front of my bed so that as I'm falling asleep and I'm moving from alpha to theta, and then in the reverse, the first thing that my brain, my eyes take in is everything that's on my vision board.
Because that hypnosis state is when you're able to tap into your subconscious and you can start to, you know, tinker in there with your visualization.
Bryan McAnulty: Yeah. Yeah. I would say to like, to those who are maybe like skeptical or think like, oh, well I don't, I don't wanna like, have to take all the, these like processes of, of manifesting or whatever.
Yeah. That, like you mentioned before, like the athletes too. Right. I would say that there's probably so many high performers in the world where maybe they don't even call it manifesting or, or they don't feel that they have a process, but they do. Yeah. And they are, they do have these beliefs, like without a doubt.
Yeah. In themselves. And at the same time, on the reverse side, there are a lot of people who are struggling. That they don't feel like they're manifesting anything in particular, but they mm-hmm. Are likely have these, these programs of these doubts and, and negative manifestations kind of against themselves that are holding them into this place that they don't want to be.
Roxy Saffaie: And this is, you know, why I, I, you know, journaling is something that I'm always talking about. It's a big part of my work. It's a big part of my life. I've been writing my whole life. I'm a diarist, so I've been in my journal since I don't, I think at the age of seven years old, when you're able to be an honest conversation with yourself and when you're in your journal, you're in the safety of.
These pages that are not going to judge you. They're not. They're just gonna hold space for you to share whatever it is that you want to share in that moment. But when this becomes habitual and you become more comfortable with this process of being with yourself and doing this, You, you'll, you'll end up going deeper and deeper into self capital S E L F.
Yeah. In my writing, it's always capitalized. Right? Then it becomes a situation where, you know, you went, going back to the example of like somebody who's having a hard time and they don't believe or can't see how, like why are they having a hard time? Or why are they not able to bring forth certain things that they desire in their life?
The. Journaling, that process, that conversation will actually help you to discover what's actually going on. You know, but oftentimes it's, it's so interesting. The brain is so fascinating, but some of these sort of disempowering, I, I prefer even that the negative, even though negative is valid, but these disempowering thoughts, self-talk beliefs that are hidden, they're hidden.
You don't even know that they're there. Your brain has created such a habit of functioning with this talk and with these programs that it's, you're actually, it's a way of keeping you safe, and that seems so. Weird. Like, wait, what? Why would my, why would I, why would this keep me safe? This state of being so uncomfortable and not happy, and not because it's familiar?
And if it you think about like anytime you have to make any kind of change in your life, that's gonna be uncomfortable. It could be very uncomfortable or it could be a little uncomfortable. It just depends on what the change is. Yeah. So for
Bryan McAnulty: you to be, but your, your brain perceives it as like that there's risk involved in doing that.
Roxy Saffaie: Yeah, exactly. And that's why it's so empowering to learn about the actual brain. I mean, I get it. Not everyone's gonna deep dive. Like, you know, I feel very lucky to be interested in the things that I'm interested in because when you actually understand mechanism and you understand, oh wait, this is why the brain is doing that, first of all, it takes the emotional piece out of it.
Like it's not personal anymore. It's not like you're defected. It's the hard wiring of our human brain. You know that that stems back from like trying to keep us alive in these, you know, tribal, like, you know, these primitive days. You know? So when you can start to piece these things together, then you can start to create an emotional separation between you and whatever it is that you're experiencing and that space and that separation also gives you what you need to start investigating on how you can start to.
Make the changes that will give you the outcomes that you desire.
Bryan McAnulty: Yeah. Yeah. I think it, it is so interesting to think about how it's possible for your, your brain to have these thoughts and patterns that you don't even realize are happening and are, are maybe working against you. But I, I haven't looked into too much about like neuroscience, but.
What, from what I understand and how I like to think about it is like the brain is a muscle, and so like, just like exercising or something like that, like the brain has these pathways and patterns that it's easier for you to stay in in whatever pathway that it's in than to to go to a new one. In the same way, like to get out of that, like just like to improve and, and like your physical health, you have to exercise.
Exercising in the process of like, trying to like make these new patterns as you mm-hmm. Get into the process of doing it, it becomes easier. And so I think it is important to recognize and like, think about it that way, at least for me, it helps to think like, okay, well this is like a pattern and like how can I, I exercise to get my brain into this new way of, of working.
And like it can be for, this is exactly what it is for anything. Yeah. So like, I guess to give an example, if, if I'm not being clear, like, I, I guess I was talking about this on the recent podcast episode, but I took like a year off in like 2017 and after that it was like actually hard for me to work again.
And like the idea of me like working for 40 hours, like it was like out of the question, like I would time myself. Yeah. And I realized like, wow, I worked like about 20 hours this week. And I'm not saying this to brag, I'm saying this because like, it was actually like a new pattern for me to get back into, like working and being focused on actual work for like a long period of time.
And so like I had to practice that to get to the point where I almost overdid it, where I started working a little bit too much and had to dial it back a little bit. But, but like, I think that's, that's a maybe understandable example of like how yeah, your brain has to adapt.
Roxy Saffaie: It's a perfect example.
That's exactly I mean, I mean, even like a funny just, you know, I, I recently had to get, my car was in the shop. Somebody rear-ended me and you know, so I was in an another SUV for a month, different switches, you know, and when I got back in my car, which is, you know, I've had, I had to re, there was like moments where I'm going to basically turn that switch on.
That was in the other SUV I was in for a month. I had to re like, get reacquainted with my own vehicle, but just after a month of being in this other car. So it, it is very, you know, it showcases how our brain, like you said, it's, it's all pattern recognition, right? Yeah. So when you, you know, that's why this is so important, and these are two of the subjects I, I speak about, I write about so frequently.
Self-awareness and actually self-compassion, self-awareness. When you, like you said, it's so crazy how people, you know, we can have these, the self-talk and the programming and not even be aware of it. Self-awareness is, in my opinion, it's the highest attribute in, emotional intelligence. The more self-awareness you have, the more that you're gonna have a growth mindset you're gonna position yourself to make.
Substantial growth in ideal ways in your life. If you're walking around and you're not aware of yourself and all these things that we're talking about, or just how you're functioning, how you're interacting with others, it's gonna be really hard to live an excellent life. You know, to live a, create a life where you're internally feeling good as well as externally, the self-compassion piece is really important.
This is, I, I frame self-compassion as a high performance tool, and I'm very specific about that terminology because I'm not trying to take away from. The kind of soft tone that we may think about initially when we hear self-compassion because it is soft. But I want to really imprint in the minds of anybody who's taken this in that it's actually way, it's badass, because it's really easy to judge yourself.
We all do it. Self-judgment, super easy, self-compassion, not easy, right? You make a mistake. Way easier to beat yourself up. Then to say, you know what? I tried, or I thought I did my best. I didn't know. As what I know now, I learned and I will move on and it's okay. It's harder to do the ladder, right? Yep.
However, the ladder is what gives you space to a be human right. We don't come out of, you know, Mom, like, just with all the answers and, and the perfect instructions of knowing how to do everything in every right moment. No, we have to learn as we go, and that's how we grow. We're gonna make mistakes. It's going to get messy.
In the entrepreneurial space, I think we're pros at this because it's just constantly like throwing things against the wall and feeling things out and missing the shot and all that. And if you don't have. Self-compassion. You're not gonna allow yourself to grow to progress at more substantial levels, and you're actually gonna become very rigid.
And when you're rigid, you're fragile. When you're fragile, you're breakable. My work is to help as many individuals as I can to be unbreakable. And that doesn't mean you can't be hurt. You're not gonna feel discomfort or pain. No, you will. You absolutely will. It just means that nothing can break your spirit.
Your spirit to keep you driving forward, to accelerate in the ways that you want to accelerate in your life. Self-compassion has to be a part of how you're moving, or else it's gonna be really hard to live into that experience.
Bryan McAnulty: Awesome. Yeah, I love that. All right, so on this show, I like to have every guest ask a question to the audience.
So if you could ask our audience anything, whether it's something you want them to think about, something you're just curious about, what would that be?
Roxy Saffaie: That's a great question. Oh, man.
Okay, hold on. I have a, I have that. Oh, well. So here, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, it's a question that I wanna gift to the audience because I know that this question. I've said it, it went viral because it really hit the hearts of so many, right? So it's meant to be like a little supportive gift. There are times where you're going to be challenged to all of us, right?
And however, You know which way you're gonna be challenged and you know, you're striving, you're reaching for your big goals, you're tired though, you maybe feel unmotivated or it's really hard. You're not sure how, how you can keep going. So the question that I ask myself in those moments, I mean, this could be in physical training, this could be, you know, facing some kind of, you know, career challenge or whatever.
I like to ask myself this question, how much effort are you worth? It's worthiness. That puts us in the position to attain our dreams. To achieve the goals we have to feel worthy. We have to feel worthy of the battle and the victory because it's a package deal. So to our audience here, to our Creator's, out there, when you feel stuck, when you feel like shit's just really hard and you know, you, you're not even sure.
Like how to get to the next stage or next step or whatever it is, how to keep going. Just ask yourself that question because I have found that, and I think this is why it went viral. It's almost like that question hit some kind of hidden switch inside of you that gives you that Rocky Balboa energy. I love Rocky to get back up and just to go keep going.
It's so, it's a very, I. It's just a very powerful question. So yeah, I thought, you know what, let's give the audience here that question. How much effort are you worth?
Bryan McAnulty: Awesome. Yeah, I love that. I think that's an excellent way to frame it.
Roxy Saffaie: Thank you. I appreciate it.
Bryan McAnulty: All right, so, Roxy, before we get going, where else can people find you online?
Roxy Saffaie: So Instagram, I'm most active on my personal account, which is Roxy Look. There, black Belt Beauty also exists there, and that's where you're gonna be up to speed with all the podcasts. Online for everything else, it's like the mothership to, you know, po my books coming out. My courses is black belt bd.com.
Bryan McAnulty: All right, awesome. Thanks so much for coming on the show.
Roxy Saffaie: Thank you so much for having me. It's been great.
Bryan McAnulty: I had like to take a moment to invite you to join our free community of over 5,000 Creator's at creatorclimb.com. If you enjoyed this episode and wanna hear more, check out the Heights Platform YouTube channel every Tuesday at 9:00 AM US Central.
To get notified when new episodes released, join our newsletter at The Creator's Adventure dot com. Until then, keep learning and I'll see you in the next episode.